Thursday, October 23, 2014

American Horror Story: Freakshow

It's that time of year where fiery colors begin bursting on the tips of tree limbs, where everything tastes like pumpkin, and we snuggle under our warm blankets for an extra fifteen minutes in the mornings. Even better--it's that time of year for bitchy Jessica Lange quotes (How can we forget "Oh these aren't for you [referring to her plate of cookies] what, at your age? Might as well crazy glue a stick of butter to your ass"). The woman is a sexier and a more femme fatale Sue Sylvester,  with all of her snappy, hilarious, yet stinging quips it's no wonder that Jessica Lange winds up being our spirit animal. To sum it up she is one word, and one word only: fabulous.

The fourth season of AHS is really freaky, which is why it was accurately named Freakshow (not to mention it's about a group of entertainers with physical abnormalities in a struggling show in south Florida.) While I dig the idea, it has me wondering if Ryan Murphy can do anything different...I mean, Glee was about kids who weren't popular and didn't fit the mold, Asylum was about people who were committed into an insane asylum and lesbians, Coven was about witches who are persecuted for being different...I'm starting to see a common theme here...but while the theme is the same as all of his other shows, I will digress because the Freakshow is able to provide loads of creeps and scares, and all out weirdiness (if that is a word?)

Twisty the Clown: The silent, murderous, clown in this season has been causing quite a stir among actual clown groups because he is so terrifying. We first see him lone coming out of the woods with knife in hand like Michael Myers, he wears a  mask of gargantuan sharp teeth halfway covering his face and remains silent as the girlfriend of the boy he murders asks if he was brought there as a present for her (we are all thinking: no bitch...no...) anywho, her stupid self along with a little boy gets locked up in the back of a dilapidated school bus; where Twisty periodically throws horrific tantrums at them. Apparently Murphy and Falchuck set out to create the most terrifying clown in television/movie history and based on my personal reaction and the reactions of most of the general public they were pretty successful.

Dandy: Dandy, Dandy, Dandy...he is a spoiled rich kid (adult?)...not sure if he is simple or just really spoiled. Probably both but whatever. He is my favorite character aside from Jessica Lange (of course), because he is scary/funny..and he is super rich and gets what he wants. Dandy I don't know whether to laugh at you or duck and run when I see you. Some of his best moments include the "Curfews are for poor people" quote...his Howdy Doody costume freakout (I don't blame him, really Howdy Doody? Could've been a little bit more suave like a Slenderman costume mom?), and drinking alcohol from an actual baby bottle.

Jessica Lange: Who cares about her character's actual name, she's Jessica Lange and she's fabulous--even while missing her appendages (Like did you even see that fuzzy white number in episode 1?) In this season she is french and the star of her failing Freakshow and sings songs from nowadays even though the series is set in the 1950s, it's like she has ESPN or something. Of course she has some wonderful bitchy lines and will do anything it takes to be a star even if that means murdering Siamese twins. Btw I love you Jessica, but I HATE the tacky blue eyeshadow...

Lobster Boy: Jimmy aka Lobster Boy aka Evan Peters is so ridiculously whiny in this season that I can't take it. Not to mention he does freaky shit with his lobster claw which you'll see in episode 1...but seriously, all Jimmy's function is in this season is to complain about how ignorant backwards country folk are and to have daddy issues.

The Bearded Lady: First...I have no idea where the accent that Kathy Bates is going for is from, but it kind of sounds like the accent from Breaking Amish...so I guess she is Amish? Aside from the weird accent, she is one of my favorite tragic characters in this season.

Triple Tits- Angela Basset returns this season with three boobs and "a full blown hermaphrodite" as she calls herself. "Triple Tits,"as the Bearded Lady calls her, hasn't had much plot development yet, aside from being a strong black woman who is married to Jimmy's dad/The Bearded Lady's ex lover. I have to be honest though, she still gives me the creeps from the Coven season.









Saturday, June 28, 2014

Wanderlust

Hey Ya'll
I just started a new travel blog. I love photography as well as writing and I travel a lot, so it all came together naturally. I just posted about my trip to Texas, soon I will be adding NYC, Chicago, and Alabama---all the photo's are taken by me--so go check it out :)

http://skwanderlust.blogspot.com


Wednesday, June 25, 2014

A post about nothing.

I'm sitting in my igloo in the south pole (aka the front office). And I'm lost in thought, searching in empty space (my brain) about what to write. You see, I really would like to write something intelligent and insightful with beautiful phrases that are encompassed with descriptive words that tickles the senses. But I just...can't. At this moment in time, I do not feel inspiration to write about anything besides the ridiculousness that is Kidchella (you should google that sometime if you want to look at just how silly our society can really get).  I guess I just like the monotonous feel of my fingers rhythmically banging against the keyboard and the loud clunky noise the key makes when when I key in a letter. It's incredibly frustrating for me (and I'm sure for you, the reader) to keep typing and typing and typing and having literally nothing to say...

Monday, June 16, 2014

Happy List: Continued (101-200).

101. Summer rainstorms
102. Sitting/napping on the porch on summer afternoons
103. Greeting people in the mornings at my job
104. Hitting foul shots
105. Taking photos
106. Basketball
107. Tag football
108. Warm cookies fresh out of the oven.
109. Christopher Walken's dance moves:

110. Primping
111. Frappucino (sp?) in the summer.
112. Mochas in the winter.
113. The science behind weather/tracking weather
114. Lightening storms
115. Tate Langdon
116. Larry Munson
117. Sweet Tea
118. Chocolate
119. Candles
120. Lamps
121. Dimly lit rooms
122. Long talks with Andrew H.
123. Hanging out with Zach/JP/Greg
123. Hookah
124. WAFFLE HOUSE
125. Dance Moms
126. This song:
 
127. Breakfast at Tiffany's
128. Caledon Hockley ("I haaaave a child!!!!") 
129. Shaping pottery on the wheel when its still wet.
130. Shaping clay in general/playdo
131. Psychology (why do we do the things we do?)
132. Learning about some of the biggest crime sprees in history ie...Manson murders, the assassination attempt on Reagan,  Zodiac
133. Horror Stories
134. Dark Comedies
135. Anti-jokes
136. PUNS
137. Childish Gambino
138. New Girl
138. Perks of Being a Wallflower book/movie

139. Superhero movies
140. Jay Gatsby
141. Being with nature/taking nature in.
142. walks
143. Being barefoot

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Happy List: A list of Things that make me happy/In no particular order

1. Jesus' pain, death, and resurrection/Sunday morning Mass.
2. Sunday morning Mass on a sunny day in June :)
3. The Obvious:
4. Warm Weather/Summer
5. Fun times with my dad
6. Mud getting smushed up between my toes/mud in general.
7. Cackling/bantering with my sister
8. My mother giving me life lessons/disussing fashion with my mother.
9. Hanging out/laughing/drinking with my friends.
10. Atchison, Ks (who da thought?)
11. Getting to know people
12. This video:
14.Reading a really good book.
15. Brittany Christman
16. Erin Girard
17. Hippy
18. Hippies
19. Being in plays/Acting/Being on stage
20.  Singing!!! XD
21. Descriptive Words
22. Wanting to go to Spain
23. Michelle Pfieffer as Catwoman (There is no other Catwoman in my book).

24. Wanderlust 
25. Hugh Jackman
26. Warm showers
27. Tea (Green or Lemongrass)
28. Downton Abbey
29. Walking Dead
30. Atlanta
31. Lahwf videos/Embracing awkward moments
32. Hanging in the woods
33. CATS
34. Cuddling up in warm covers
35. Lotion that smells really, really, good.
36. Hiking
37. RAFTING---Preferably the Chatooga River (Soon the the Chatahoochie)
38. Learning about Native Americans
39. Learning about the Confederacy
40. Civil War Reenactments
41. CHARLESTON SC
42. Spanish Moss
43. The Ocean
44. Sea food (CRAB LEGS)
45. Naps
46. N64
47. Zelda: Ocarina of Time
48. Talking about music with Matt Bang
49. Batman
50. Horror Movies
51.Learning about History
51. Remembering Grandaddy/Grandfather
52. Creole Food
53, Mexican Food
54. Dia del Muerte
55. Michael Jackson
56. This site: http://www.betcheslovethis.com/
57. BULLY (The PS2 game)
58. Basketball
59. Smack talking before a pickup game/swagging around
60. Ska
61. Disney (Aladdin)
62. Contra Dancing
63. Childs Play Pose
64. American Horror Story
65. Ja'mie King:
66. Mean Girls
67. 90s Music
68. Feminism
69. Learning about Catholicism
70. YOGA
72. Dairy Queen
73. Dippin Dots
74. Rihanna
75. Beyoncé
76. Jessica Lange: Golden
77. Every X-Men movie that there is (Except for the Asian one because that one sucked).
78. LORD OF THE RINGS
79. GANDALF
80. Les Miserables
81. Sue Sylvester
82. Frozen
83. Let it go, done in different Disney Character's voices: 
 
84. The corner piece of a cake
85. Meaningful/thought provoking conversation
86. "Aliens..."
87. Mash potatoes and gravy
88. Egg drop soup
89. Understanding different cultures/religions
90. Fishing
91. Star Trek: Next Gen (and the new boot up movies)
92. Justin Timberlake
93. Watching music videos from late 90s-mid 2000s
94. PewDiePie
95. The corner of the room
96. dancing alone in front of the mirror
97. Guitar music
98. Old, black, and white movies
99. Tumblr
100. Super Selfie:


Sunday, April 6, 2014

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Polar Bear Plunge

This past week Hayesville has decided to strip away its common sense and dive into a pool of spontaneity for a good cause <you see what I did there? Let me explain, For some wacked out reason my area has decided that a good way to raise money is by filming yourself nominating people to jump into a non-heated body of water, stating who you will be giving your money away to, and then running full force and cannon-balling (or splashing yourself off and squacking like a chicken) into a body of water IN MARCH.

Imagine my reaction when I looked onto my Facebook page a week ago and saw a painful video of one of my friends running and jumping into the lake...at 40 degrees mind you...after nominating my sister and I.

My first reaction:


but then I was all like: YOLO (errr I can't believe I wrote that)

So here is a video of the refreshing experience...

 
So there you have it. Stupid? Absolutely...Fun? Absolutely x2

Monday, February 24, 2014

Andrew Hales (LAHWF)

If ever you are having one of those days where you say "hi" to strangers that you mistakenly thought was someone you knew or hugged someone when they were actually going in for a high-five and you feel embarrassed then I recommend you watch a LAHWF ("Losing All Hope Was Freedom-Quote from Fight Club") video. Andrew Hales and his buddies travel across the country and intentionally create awkward scenarios with random people to see what kind of reactions they can get and most of the time the results are pretty funny.

Spring Tunes ^_^

Gah tax season is almost over and spring is just around the corner (YEAAAAAH!!!!!). I don't know about y'all but I AM SO READY for the temperature to warm up. This Polar bear vortex/snowing yeti type weather reminds me of that part in Dante's Inferno when everyone is frozen and couldn't move their faces around...Alls I gotta say is that 1.) I'm SO glad that I don't live in the Midwest anymore and 2.) It better be a flippin pretty spring.

 Here are some springtimey tunes that you can groove to while the polar bear vortex chomps down on the United States again, hopefully if we dream of spring enough it'll blow our winter blues away.

Atlas Hands by Benjamin Francis Leftwitch (Thomas Jack Remix): This one is my favorite at the moment

 
"And when the stars are the only things we share will you be there?"
 
 
Parra For Cuva - Lines (Nicholas Haelg Remix) Kinda Jazzy

 
Monster by Meg and Dia (Dot.EXE Dubstep  remix) This was my favorite song when I was in high school, so I was STOKED to see that they did a dubstep version of it.

Chocolate by The 1975: This one has been around for a bit, but its still a fun springish/summer song.

 
 
 
 
 
 

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Tax Season has started

Hello 9 hr/6 day work week.
Hello Lisa Luscious the fraudster.



I know there will be many days like this