Thursday, October 23, 2014

American Horror Story: Freakshow

It's that time of year where fiery colors begin bursting on the tips of tree limbs, where everything tastes like pumpkin, and we snuggle under our warm blankets for an extra fifteen minutes in the mornings. Even better--it's that time of year for bitchy Jessica Lange quotes (How can we forget "Oh these aren't for you [referring to her plate of cookies] what, at your age? Might as well crazy glue a stick of butter to your ass"). The woman is a sexier and a more femme fatale Sue Sylvester,  with all of her snappy, hilarious, yet stinging quips it's no wonder that Jessica Lange winds up being our spirit animal. To sum it up she is one word, and one word only: fabulous.

The fourth season of AHS is really freaky, which is why it was accurately named Freakshow (not to mention it's about a group of entertainers with physical abnormalities in a struggling show in south Florida.) While I dig the idea, it has me wondering if Ryan Murphy can do anything different...I mean, Glee was about kids who weren't popular and didn't fit the mold, Asylum was about people who were committed into an insane asylum and lesbians, Coven was about witches who are persecuted for being different...I'm starting to see a common theme here...but while the theme is the same as all of his other shows, I will digress because the Freakshow is able to provide loads of creeps and scares, and all out weirdiness (if that is a word?)

Twisty the Clown: The silent, murderous, clown in this season has been causing quite a stir among actual clown groups because he is so terrifying. We first see him lone coming out of the woods with knife in hand like Michael Myers, he wears a  mask of gargantuan sharp teeth halfway covering his face and remains silent as the girlfriend of the boy he murders asks if he was brought there as a present for her (we are all thinking: no bitch...no...) anywho, her stupid self along with a little boy gets locked up in the back of a dilapidated school bus; where Twisty periodically throws horrific tantrums at them. Apparently Murphy and Falchuck set out to create the most terrifying clown in television/movie history and based on my personal reaction and the reactions of most of the general public they were pretty successful.

Dandy: Dandy, Dandy, Dandy...he is a spoiled rich kid (adult?)...not sure if he is simple or just really spoiled. Probably both but whatever. He is my favorite character aside from Jessica Lange (of course), because he is scary/funny..and he is super rich and gets what he wants. Dandy I don't know whether to laugh at you or duck and run when I see you. Some of his best moments include the "Curfews are for poor people" quote...his Howdy Doody costume freakout (I don't blame him, really Howdy Doody? Could've been a little bit more suave like a Slenderman costume mom?), and drinking alcohol from an actual baby bottle.

Jessica Lange: Who cares about her character's actual name, she's Jessica Lange and she's fabulous--even while missing her appendages (Like did you even see that fuzzy white number in episode 1?) In this season she is french and the star of her failing Freakshow and sings songs from nowadays even though the series is set in the 1950s, it's like she has ESPN or something. Of course she has some wonderful bitchy lines and will do anything it takes to be a star even if that means murdering Siamese twins. Btw I love you Jessica, but I HATE the tacky blue eyeshadow...

Lobster Boy: Jimmy aka Lobster Boy aka Evan Peters is so ridiculously whiny in this season that I can't take it. Not to mention he does freaky shit with his lobster claw which you'll see in episode 1...but seriously, all Jimmy's function is in this season is to complain about how ignorant backwards country folk are and to have daddy issues.

The Bearded Lady: First...I have no idea where the accent that Kathy Bates is going for is from, but it kind of sounds like the accent from Breaking Amish...so I guess she is Amish? Aside from the weird accent, she is one of my favorite tragic characters in this season.

Triple Tits- Angela Basset returns this season with three boobs and "a full blown hermaphrodite" as she calls herself. "Triple Tits,"as the Bearded Lady calls her, hasn't had much plot development yet, aside from being a strong black woman who is married to Jimmy's dad/The Bearded Lady's ex lover. I have to be honest though, she still gives me the creeps from the Coven season.









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