I had a hard time controlling my excitement when she came rolling by on her Vespa. It was cherry red, my favorite color. I just wished the old fart wouldn't let her saggy tits hit the dashboard when she steered. Either way, I'd take it. As she road by me she let out a yelp of sheer liberal freedom throwing her arms in the air, taking in the crisp morning air, all the while taking her hands off of the handle bars and lifting them to the sky. What a stupid old ass.
If I was going to do it, I should do it now.
I quickly reached into my pocket, searched for a marble, bent it to the rubber in my slingshot...
I chuckled in glee...soon I would be riding a sexy red Vespa back to campus.
I could hardly control this excitement when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
f@#$! I exclaimed....man, I was pissed...the old woman put her hand back on the handle bars and spun down the street, disappearing around the curve.
"ohodhoghd;oghogh!!!!" I turned around in frustration.
A nerd in green argyle and a serious case of acne stood in fear in front of me.
"What is it Pizza Face?"
"Uhh....mmmmm" His panicked expression was beginning to piss me off.
"SPIT IT NERD!"
"UHM UHMMMMM IT'S ALGIE! THE GREASERS HAVE TAKEN HIS BIKE!"
"So? What do you want me to do about it?"
"Well...Algie started a new newspaper delivery service in town and he really needs it...plus his mom gave him that bike." He said looking down at the ground.
"Then go get it!"
"He peed his pants in fright when it happened! There's no way he can get it from the Greasers. He needs you! He would have come to see you in person, but he is washing his pants right now...he told me to give you this."
He rummaged through his pockets and pulled out three five dollar bills and handed it to me.
"Another five and I'll do it."
"BU-"
"THEN BEAT IT SQUIRM!"
"Fiiiiine....." he handed me another five
"Looks like we have a deal" I said counting my fives.
I skated up to the Greasers hold that night, behind the broken down school bus (where that scummy hobo lives) that sits behind an abandoned mechanical shop.
I'm a stealthy ninja so I climbed to the top of the school bus and sat on the top of it.Those Greaser idiots didn't even notice me. For a moment I second guessed myself. Last week I had thrown a bag of marbles in front of the main entrance of the school and then pulled the fire alarm. The dumb kids and asshole prefects came barreling down the halls and made a loud echoing THUMP when they rolled on the marbles and smacked their asses on the ground. Nothing pleased me more than hearing those scumbag prefects cluck like a chicken when they fell! Even if I did get in trouble, I'm still proud of it. I'm currently in detention for the next four months and I'll be expelled if I ever pull an "atrocious act like that again" according to my principle. Expulsion? Do I care? Not a bit! Not if I can escape the prison known as Bullworth, ride my Vespa and eat ho's ho's instead of studying....now THAT sounds like winning!
Anyway I sat on top of the school bus watching the Greasers play poker and noticed Algie's bike leaning up against the wall.
It was time.
With great accuracy I threw a stink bomb at them. Green smoke rose and rifled the air all around them rendering them unable to move. I then pulled out my spud launcher, put a giant potato in it, and launched it through the air and with great precision smacked one of the guy greasers in the forehead. He was down.
The lady greasers ran away.
Only two male greasers left.
One got out his marbles and began aiming at me with his slingshot.
and one actually hit me! It smacked me in the cheek---and it stung!
That F---er is gonna be sorry.
I loaded the spud launcher with another potato and smacked his other friend in the stomach. He fell down with a loud "OOOF!!!"
Only one left now, and he was going to regret it.
I jumped off of the bus, the idiot began charging me...
I picked him up and poured itching powder down his pants
"NOOOOOO!!!" He screamed like the girl he is.
Then I punched him in the face
and kicked him in the nuts
then I walked away from him as he yelped in anguish.
I grabbed the bike and rode it to the library to return it to Algie.
"I got your bike Algie!" I called to him
His face lit up, "Oh boy!!!! Thanks Jimmy my mom got me this bike when I was ten and I was going to get it back from the greasers but then I had an accident in my pants because when I get nervous my bladder gets a little un-----
"Ok Algie" I interrupted him
I felt little bit of happiness as I gave it back to Algie. Doing the right thing for helpless people makes me feel warm on the inside...Especially Algie, because sometimes I think of him as a buddy...but if anyone knew that I will personally make them forget it.
"Thanks Jimmy!"
He hugged me
I pulled away in disgust
"No problem..." and I walked back to the city to reclaim my future sexy ass Vespa.
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