He's Madness

He's madness
a true bohemian,
moving with magic and fire
and a sense of wildness
that even death trembles at the thought of him.
He exists on the edges of my brain
And seeping into my dreams at night,
Entangles himself in my thoughts

and I ask myself if I should 'Dare disturb the Universe'?

Bruce Jenner: The Interview

Last night as I was watching "Bruce Jenner: The Interview" and I took some notes...



Why is Bruce Jenner being such a jackass to Diane Sawyer?

"When I told my mother she was like 'Oh my God, Bruce did I do this to you?'" he says this very animated and I can't keep but imagining a 90ish year old woman talking like Kim Kardashian...

He goes on about how he's skinny and his Russian competitor is fat and he's won that race too...I mean, when did Bruce become Regina George? Is butter a carb?

"For now, I will go by Her..." --Shutup Bruce, we all know you are going by Brucella...

The fact that he is a republican is more shocking to me than the fact the is claiming to be a woman for some reason...



I didn't get much more notes, because this interview really was not as interesting as I thought it was going to be. Lesbihonest, We all knew Bruce was a little ummm odd anyway...

But my final takeaway from the interview, besides Bruce Jenner is an asshole...is that I am somewhat upset, I am not a hardcore feminist in any way but I could not help but notice that this interview set women back.

The problem is that the interview reduced the woman experience to putting on dresses and feeling "pretty."

Bruce Jenner loves the idea of a social construct of being a woman. He likes to put on dresses and he likes to feel pretty--because of this, he believes he has a woman's soul.

A social construct is how society views a set of people.
For example, it is a social construct that deems that men must be stoic and emotionless.
It is a social construct that women like to dress up in dresses and feel pretty as well as being an angel in the streets but a freak in the sheets.

I need to note that not all women like to dress up and feel pretty, that does not define a woman.

The social construct of women and the woman experience are not the same either. So much of the woman experience rests on biology. Excuse my being crude, but Bruce will never ever know what it's like to have a period-Most women can relate to having an accident at least once sometime in their lives in public; and many carry pads/tampons just in case them or a friend (or even a stranger) have an accident in a public area. It is humiliating and it is the universal woman experience. And most women feel empathetic when this happens to another woman. Additionally he will never have to endure the awkward moment of purchasing one of the items mentioned above from a teenage boy from behind a counter at a convenience store. Nor will he ever know what it like to start crying over something tiny because the chemicals in his brain are telling him to. And lastly, he will never be able to biologically give birth to a child, which is a miracle because you are a co-creator with God.

And lets talk more about that social construct I mentioned above. There are wonderful positives about being a woman such as being in touch with your emotions and being able to fully express yourself whether that be in fashion or something else. These are the positives that Bruce is gravitating towards and thereby convincing him he has a "woman" soul. But he will never have to experience the "Angel/Whore dichotomy" (you are a prude if you are not experienced sexually and you are a whore if you are) or that if he sounds too smart he will intimidate his boyfriend/husband. Nor will he ever have to experience the competition and comparing of body image that many women have to face on a daily basis.

I know that this blog post is pretty negative, but these are just the basic struggles that women have to endure (I love being a woman btw!). So it confuses me when someone says they feel like a woman, because they have no idea whats it's like to be a woman. Just because they love the social construct of being a woman, does not mean they have a woman soul. Even if Bruce were to get breast implants and have the gender reassignment surgery, he would NOT have the experience of a woman, but that of a transgender.

This works the other way too...Just because I gravitate towards things that society deems to be masculine does not mean I have a man's soul. I have no idea what the male experience is, so how can I say I feel like a man?

This brings me to my last point...souls do NOT have gender. The soul is your spirit, it is eternal and it is the life that inhabits your body. When we die, our body dies but our soul lives on. The purpose of having a gender is for biological reproductive purposes. If a soul is not biological then how on earth can it have a gender?

Anyway, my final-final thoughts are that any man that had to endure living with the Kardashians for two decades would not come out at least a little unscathed. I mean, ughhh can you even imagine the estrogen and the desperation particles that are polluting the air in their house?

***Sexual orientation and transgender are completely different topics.

Deciding to be happy.

  

  Mindset is everything, it changes how we perceive people, places, and experiences. Have you ever watched a movie and with another person and made up an opinion on a character and the person that you were watching it with had an entirely different opinion on the character? On the last season of The Bachelor, my opinion differed greatly between my mother's on the winner, Whitney. I saw her as a desperate girl who would gaze into the bachelors eyes and use mind control saying, "CHRIS I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES (which she did actually say/referred to a number of times on the show)." My mother on the other hand saw her as sweet and just totally in love (even though its The Bachelor and he's dating 14 other women and they've only had like two dates of just the two of them, its grool...I guess...). Anyway I began to question if my poor view of Whitney is because it's winter, and I generally have a more negative mindset in winter. Generally I have more negative experiences in winter. I blame it on the fact that I hate living like a vampire, but the reality is I have more negative experiences in winter because I decide to have a negative mindset in the winter. I could totally change that if I wanted to.

In fact this morning I was feeling completely down, and this lady walked in whom talking to yesterday was upset because her coworker told her she looked bad--when she came through the door I became very animated and over the top telling her she looked great--she laughed and said that I should do that to everyone that came though there today. And you know what? I did. I became over the the top enthusiastic to the next three people that walked though the door and it made everyone laugh. All the sudden I felt incredibly positive, happy, and up beat. I don't why I've never thought of acting goofy when I'm feeling down-it never occured to me that being happy is a decision that you can make. And if it really is this easy to be happy then I'm going to decide to be happy every day. It sounds cliche but life really is about how you make it and the decisions that you make--and it's short so make it count. :)

This is song is also giving me happy vibes today :) :)

Gigi Hadid

        For a while I stopped writing about supermodels and the women/men that inspire me fashion-wise because I had a stick up my ass and thought that it was shallow. I thought I had a lot more to say than simply write about fashion--I thought the models had more to say than simply being a human hanger. But you know what? fashion is fun! It gives us a chance to show people what we are like before we open our mouths (and it has been proven that people judge us within the first minute that they meet us). Self expression is one of the most beautiful things we can do and it takes a creative mind to pull it together--so  in that sense celebrating fashion is celebrating someones mind and creativity.

So with that out of the way, I want to write about one of my favorite super model "it" girls of the moment. Her name is Gigi Hadid, and she is from the lucky sperm club. Let me digress, her mother (Yolanda Foster-ever heard of her?) is a Beverly Hills Housewife as well as a model, her father is a successful real estate developer, and her step-father is a well to do music producer. Her modeling career started at the ripe age of 2 as a Guess girl--you know, casual--

Last year she debuted as an SI rookie, and for the past few fashion weeks she has been burning up the runway and taking selfies with Rihanna and Taylor Swift...again, casual.

The reasons why I like her (as well as a bunch of people apparently) is because she is not sickly skinny. She actually has curves and gives off a healthy and cool beachy vibe...this is refreshing, because it is an echo to the traditional supermodels like Christy Brinkley and Tyra Banks, who didn't look like sick aliens either... and because of her style, she comes across as down to earth and fun.

Another insteresting tidbit: Hadid is half palestinian and half danish--and is the on again/off again gf of singer Cody Simpson

btw...her sister Bella is also a fashion model about to blow up.

Let your passion kill you

"Find what you love and let it kill you." -Charles Bukowski

I saw this quote on Pinterest the other day and it struck me. For me it's not the the the type of inspiration that just hits you and you forget about three days later--No, this quote struck me and lit my soul on fire. Nothing to me is more satisfying as being fully consumed and being completely driven by your passion without the fear of failing.

I mean, think of ALL that you can do if you were not afraid to fail...and what if failure is a good thing? What if it is the beginning of teaching you how to be a master of your passion? And moreover think of how happy everyone would be if they were told that they could not only do their passion but champion it.

This quote is so much more than conquering the fear of failure. It goes deeper than that-it's about becoming immersed, letting it guide you, letting it kill ALL of your self doubt and setting your own goals so that YOU become your own measure of your success.


So get out and do what you love- whether that be art, or cooking, or fitness etc -if it's underwater hamburger flipping--do it, because you are worth that happiness and self fulfillment.

I miss summer

It's days like this where I long to be wrapped in summers embrace and for the sweet summer wind to gently caress my face. I yearn for breezy warm nights and dancing in the moonlight. I want to dress like Stevie Nicks again.  I long for laughter with friends under a blanket of stars and being surrounded by the beauty that God has created for us. I think this may sound strange, but I always believed myself a sort of forest nymph, and I am at my happiest when I am surrounded by the untamed wildness in nature. I can't wait for summer..aghhhh.

American Horror Story: Freakshow

It's that time of year where fiery colors begin bursting on the tips of tree limbs, where everything tastes like pumpkin, and we snuggle under our warm blankets for an extra fifteen minutes in the mornings. Even better--it's that time of year for bitchy Jessica Lange quotes (How can we forget "Oh these aren't for you [referring to her plate of cookies] what, at your age? Might as well crazy glue a stick of butter to your ass"). The woman is a sexier and a more femme fatale Sue Sylvester,  with all of her snappy, hilarious, yet stinging quips it's no wonder that Jessica Lange winds up being our spirit animal. To sum it up she is one word, and one word only: fabulous.

The fourth season of AHS is really freaky, which is why it was accurately named Freakshow (not to mention it's about a group of entertainers with physical abnormalities in a struggling show in south Florida.) While I dig the idea, it has me wondering if Ryan Murphy can do anything different...I mean, Glee was about kids who weren't popular and didn't fit the mold, Asylum was about people who were committed into an insane asylum and lesbians, Coven was about witches who are persecuted for being different...I'm starting to see a common theme here...but while the theme is the same as all of his other shows, I will digress because the Freakshow is able to provide loads of creeps and scares, and all out weirdiness (if that is a word?)

Twisty the Clown: The silent, murderous, clown in this season has been causing quite a stir among actual clown groups because he is so terrifying. We first see him lone coming out of the woods with knife in hand like Michael Myers, he wears a  mask of gargantuan sharp teeth halfway covering his face and remains silent as the girlfriend of the boy he murders asks if he was brought there as a present for her (we are all thinking: no bitch...no...) anywho, her stupid self along with a little boy gets locked up in the back of a dilapidated school bus; where Twisty periodically throws horrific tantrums at them. Apparently Murphy and Falchuck set out to create the most terrifying clown in television/movie history and based on my personal reaction and the reactions of most of the general public they were pretty successful.

Dandy: Dandy, Dandy, Dandy...he is a spoiled rich kid (adult?)...not sure if he is simple or just really spoiled. Probably both but whatever. He is my favorite character aside from Jessica Lange (of course), because he is scary/funny..and he is super rich and gets what he wants. Dandy I don't know whether to laugh at you or duck and run when I see you. Some of his best moments include the "Curfews are for poor people" quote...his Howdy Doody costume freakout (I don't blame him, really Howdy Doody? Could've been a little bit more suave like a Slenderman costume mom?), and drinking alcohol from an actual baby bottle.

Jessica Lange: Who cares about her character's actual name, she's Jessica Lange and she's fabulous--even while missing her appendages (Like did you even see that fuzzy white number in episode 1?) In this season she is french and the star of her failing Freakshow and sings songs from nowadays even though the series is set in the 1950s, it's like she has ESPN or something. Of course she has some wonderful bitchy lines and will do anything it takes to be a star even if that means murdering Siamese twins. Btw I love you Jessica, but I HATE the tacky blue eyeshadow...

Lobster Boy: Jimmy aka Lobster Boy aka Evan Peters is so ridiculously whiny in this season that I can't take it. Not to mention he does freaky shit with his lobster claw which you'll see in episode 1...but seriously, all Jimmy's function is in this season is to complain about how ignorant backwards country folk are and to have daddy issues.

The Bearded Lady: First...I have no idea where the accent that Kathy Bates is going for is from, but it kind of sounds like the accent from Breaking Amish...so I guess she is Amish? Aside from the weird accent, she is one of my favorite tragic characters in this season.

Triple Tits- Angela Basset returns this season with three boobs and "a full blown hermaphrodite" as she calls herself. "Triple Tits,"as the Bearded Lady calls her, hasn't had much plot development yet, aside from being a strong black woman who is married to Jimmy's dad/The Bearded Lady's ex lover. I have to be honest though, she still gives me the creeps from the Coven season.